I never really thought about what I believe. I don’t believe in any religion. But I what I do believe… Maybe I believe in myself? I don’t know. Makes me wonder what is there to believe in.
I’m in a period now where I believe that you have to take care of the people around you. My mother passed away two weeks ago. I am in a very intense period of processing it, and I regret many things like not having spent more time with her. So I think I believe that you should try to spend as much time as possible with the people around you that you love. She passed away very unexpectedly, so I have been trying to fight as little as possible with the people around me, have nice relationships with one another, because you never know how long people will be around for.
My school taught me to always believe in myself, not to be insecure, go for the things you love, study what you like. And my boyfriend inspires me a lot. I tend to give up on things. Like when I think I’m not really good at something. But he always practises a lot, he’s very patient, I think that’s very special. That makes me think that I should just take more time to learn something.
There are elements of any kind of religion that are beautiful, like, love the people around you. Most religions have that in common. But I don’t identify with any particular religion. My father is Greek, and his is Greek Orthodox, so I have been baptised when I was younger. But my upbringing was not religious, we only went to Church with Eastern. I went to a Christian school, but I somehow never thought about it as something real. I think my morality just came from life, experiences, good parents.
I think religion can give some people peace. When my mother passed away, in that moment I could really understand why people would need a god to tell them it’s okay and the deceased is happy now and in heaven. And I thought, it would be so beautiful for me right now to believe in god, and to think my mother is in heaven now, and one day I will be with her. But then I still think, she’s just passed away and that’s it, she’s just not here anymore. And I have to have peace with that. I’m just not spiritual enough to believe otherwise. I think people are born with a mind that is very spiritual, or not at all. Sometimes I would like to believe that her ghost is with me, so I could speak with her. Does that mean I believe in something? I find the idea beautiful that there might me something more, but until now I haven’t spoken to my mother, or her ghost!
I face a lot of challenges right now. I don’t have a really good relationship with my sister. She has done some things that I don’t think are very nice. But as it’s my sister I try to change my attitude towards her, to try to understand her. But it’s challenging, because my natural reaction is to be angry with her, but I know that won’t change anything, so I choose not to be angry with her. It’s just my father and my sister left now, and my mother wouldn’t be happy if we were fighting, and I don’t want it for myself either. So I have to think, she’s just another person, with a different brain, at a different age.
I struggle a lot with catcalling in the street or looking at me in a weird way. I really don’t like it, and it happens almost every day, it’s unbelievable that we still live in a world where men objectify women so much. It’s disgusting that I cannot exit my house in shorts and not be harassed. Why do men do this, and why do they not understand that it’s unpleasant for other people, and how can I prevent it? An easy solution is to be more covered, but that’s ridiculous! These men need to be taught somehow to respect women. But that’s impossible I guess.