I believe in Darwinism. I think that came with age. I grew up in a Catholic family but right now I am a little skeptical about it. I was pretty into believing in god as a kid. I was an altar boy until I was eight years old. In our village every boy wants to be that! I think the big break was, when you’re a teenager, you are against everything your parents put on you, right? So, you try to look at every possibility that goes against what they tell you. I totally respect my parents and I don’t want to say I did this against my parents, but it was a time I started looking at the many different sources of knowledge beyond what my parents passed on.
I just thought at some point humans need to believe that there is something bigger and stronger, somebody that can protect them. That’s why they create the gods. All beliefs are based on human sources: letters, put them together, create a Bible, a Koran…that’s all human stuff. So, I’m skeptical now.
But…It’s hard to explain, especially if you believe in Darwinism…But people without belief in something higher, bigger, not from this planet, they don’t have respect for anything, they destroy everything, they’re killing each other, they’re destroying this planet. I think somebody who believes in god, doesn’t matter what kind of god, believes in love and respect for one another, for everything. That makes them better people. If we don’t believe in anything, we’re just empty, we just feel like we can do everything on this planet, and nobody can punish us. Even if we’re a little skeptical.
There are two sides inside me: one side believes in everything what science is telling me. And we’ve got proofs of that, we never had any proofs of the existence of god, except the Bible but we know the Bible is written by humans, so we don’t know whether that’s true. So, it’s easier to believe what science tells us is true. But even at this point we don’t have enough knowledge about how it was in the beginning; it’s all theory. It’s so risky to say, ‘it was like this’.
And still inside me there is a small percentage of somebody who believes in a higher power. Maybe it’s because I grew up in Christianity, but when I say ‘I don’t believe in god’, something deep inside me is a little bit afraid. It’s like, ‘hey you cannot say that; that’s a sin’. So deep inside me I’m still afraid to say this out loud. It’s complicated. We don’t have enough information to say it’s black or white.
Originally, I’m Polish, and 97% of Polish people are Catholic. So, Christianity is a big part of our legacy, for 1000 years. And even now I’m bringing some Christian stuff to my home at Christmas. Stuff that Canadians don’t even know, like breaking the bread, breaking the host, and wishing everybody good things for the next year. I think it’s a nice tradition and I brought this from home in Poland. And that’s definitely Christian stuff, it’s religious stuff that I bring to normal life. I don’t try to convince others but it looks like I still believe a little bit in this stuff.
With the years you may even forget, ‘where did this come from’, and some Christian stuff is actually barbarian. For Easter Monday we have a tradition of pouring water over girls. How much water she gets poured over her head, symbolizes whether she will get married in the next year. Because by the boys she is seen as more attractive or something. This is totally barbarian stuff! It’s only in Poland I think, it definitely comes from the Slavic traditions.